PLAY by niamh

Let me say that once more- PLAY ISNT DEPENDENT ON THE COLLAR. This is a huge misconception, you do not need to be collared or owned to explore, experiment and enjoy..the THREE BIG E’s..and that doesn’t by the way , make you the fourth e..easy..it makes you smart enough to want to know yourself before you UC, collar or commit.

Back to my thought-

by the same token, what about the ramifications of emotion and love when a collar is involved? what happens if the Dominant/Submissive decides the rules change. THAT collar is pretty much you giving away your choices in many things (oh YES i DID say that) especially for slaves among us, once you CHOOSE to put it on, it’s NO LONGER A VALID OPTION TO TAKE IT OFF, YOU GAVE UP ALL YOUR RIGHTS. (I know it’s illegal hear me out~ all the Ds just sat up and took notice. Jussstttt let the train roll a sec okay?) so what happens then when you are in the middle of a scene and things go horribly wrong, when boundaries are broken or you can’t proceed, does the LOVE that your Dominant/Master have for you then conflict with his CHOICES of what to do with you? how to push you? 

Ever heard the question ~can you hurt someone you love even if it’s for their own good?

so does love then interfere with Dominance? Does it cripple the Master/Mistress in their actions because they can’t get past the emotions? and if so, is it as simple as taking off the collar around your neck to fix that. Will it make it any easier for the Dominant to beat the heck out of you or watch you writhing on the floor broken because that’s what they KNEW you needed, they just had to take the collar OFF to give it?

hmmmmmmm....things to think on...

IN THE YEARS by niamh

In the years I have been on my knees as a slave, I have had the pleasure and joy of learning from many Masters and Mistresses. Taking the lessons from each into the swelling tomes of knowledge within my heart and mind, and in the process remembering not only the material but the people who taught it to me.

One of the first lessons I learned was that a girl will never be fully trained~ it’s a paradox, a fully trained kajira. The very essence of our existence lends itself to onward and constant training, the girl who thinks she knows everything and refuses to open heart and mind to new lessons, new ways, something old but different way of doing it; quickly becomes the girl alone amongst her sisters. Bitter and contrite as they openly share information, her mind set in the mires of her own importance and knowledge. 

The mind and heart need open discourse and shared experiences, especially in a world harsh and unbending as our own.

The second lesson that has resonated in me, possibly at times more profoundly than the first, is that you learn more from mistakes than you do from successes. In my first few hands on my knees I met one of the Masters that has helped form the slave I am. At the time I tried all I could to avoid this FreeMan, he was loud, and robust and demanding and harsh, larger than life and the girls all feared him. Even the girls that had long been members of the chain he owned would “change” when the man walked in. There was more purpose in their words, a weariness that I mistakenly took as fear. Then one day when my collar was still not so sparkly new and yet i still wore pristine white, I sat studying as the Man entered, with no other slave about, I , trembling with fear and near paralyzed with trying to remember every lesson I’d learned begged to approach and serve Him. 

To this day the serve is one of the most vivid of memories in my mind, not because it was heated or brilliant, but because after he requested the turian wine, after I’d gone through half a dozen actions to see to his pleasure, the man let lose a soft sigh; no yelling no words of reprimand, a simple sigh.

I stopped in my tracks turned to look at him over my shoulder, he told me to sit everything aside and heel. I did

In the most patient of manners, he proceeded to retrace every step I’d made, describing with infinite clarity the mistakes I’d just performed in serving a Jarl, the wine, the vessel, my overindulgence in detail. His softly spoken lesson, started with a sigh and ended with him telling me to try again, and in half the time and with less “overthinking” I earned one of only two times I ever heard good girl from the mans lips.

The power of a whisper in a whirlwind, later he would tell me he knew that day the ilk of the slave I would be, because only a true kajira would have known the sigh was displeasure. There were a million other reasons to sigh at a girl serving, her beauty, her movement, appreciation.. all these possibilities and in my slaves heart I knew it was displeasure, it was to this quality he said I would return many times on my path to becoming who I need to be.

I finally understood the poise and beauty, the underlying “change” in the girls as he entered, it wasn’t fear. It was more ..respect, understanding, a small amount of fear but not of the man himself. Of failing his expectations.

I was still in whites the last I saw of that particular Master, my time in slavery was spent much in the restricted clothes of an unopened girl, my Mistress wanted to ensure her girls all knew that service begins in the heart not the heat. 

Now each time I enter my home, I look to myMaster and the company he keeps and I feel that same “change” within me, knowing that each is worthy of that respect, that I will never be fully trained but I can strive to be pleasing in the ever changing growth of slavery. My heart belongs to those I serve, my mind embracing each lesson. I cling to everything I learn but my very nature sets in stone the things I learn by misstepping, by displeasing

"Her feelings were easily hurt, a valuable property in  a slave girl. Too she could not control her feelings, another excellent property in  a slave girl. Her feelings, vulnerable, deep, exploitable, in her expressions and on her face, betrayed her, exposing her to men, and their amusement as helplessly as her stripped beauty. They made her more easily controlled, more a slave" Tribesmen of Gor page 103-104

That is perhaps one of the most poignant quotes I’ve ever come across in the books; I always felt there was some flaw inside me, in the way I work because I take things to heart. I wear my heart and my soul on my silks, bared to Master and with holding nothing. This quote was an epiphany for me, to understanding that it allows Master to easily refine and define the girl he wants me to be. I no longer feel there is something wrong with me all the time.

I am also not confident enough to say there is something right with me all the time either. I expect in time, especially in Masters collar and hands, I will continue to grow and soar. I have moments here and there when I take flight, but never far from the nest. I look forward to the day when I can enter the presence of all in Masters home and not fear its all too good to be true and will disappear.

I look forward to the day when I can stop apologizing for being who I am, and feeling the need to defend my actions, my mistakes and my perceived failings when in fact Master hasn’t noticed any of them. I look forward to the day when I can simply let go of all the fears, knowing they will stay gone and not return with the fall of my eyes to sleep or the closing of the door behind me. I despise being insecure and relish the thoughts of losing that trait

In the mean time I will simply be, as Master wills, and I will remember to trust in his knowledge and strength realizing that when I met him, he terrified me, overwhelmed me and made me weak in the knees.. sometimes he still does, only now- he owns me.

WILLOWS by niamh {PP}*

Willows

Long ago I was told a story that has become an integral part of my outlook on life. I don’t know if it had its origins in the Native American side of our family or in the Scottish clan that migrated over in the 1860s. Its lessons, however, I have found to be so important that I share it now with all those that might need or want to hear it. I share it now, here, so that maybe there will be a few more that can benefit from the wisdom of generations past, and the lessons Mother Nature can teach us all.

I came rushing into the house in tears after another confrontation with my cousins, all older and all male and very full of their teenage egos and lacking any time or spare thought at that given moment for a very small very female being that was more of an aggravation than anything. As I sat in the library of my great grandparents home with tears flowing down my face my Granda shuffled into the room as was his way and settled close by in the old leather chair and it wasn’t long before the smell of cherry apple pipe tobacco mingled with the scent of old books and the hickory and oak burning in the fireplace. 

He sat for a few minutes more drawing on his pipe and looking out the window, my tears soon stopped as I tried with my very young eyes to see what he was seeing out that window, no matter how I tried all I could see was the woods around the family home, and albeit they were beautiful and a wonderland for me regularly I was lost in consternation at his focus and silence. Before too much longer I heard the tap on the pipe tray and heard the distinct sound of Granda clearing his throat, I turned around still sitting on my knees in the window seat and saw the smile on Grandas face as he held out what seemed like a gigantic and weather worn hand to his only great grandbaby, and the only girl of what he called his Lot. I remember crossing the room and climbing onto his knee and then I remember the story, every word committed to memory of my small self, for future reference and inspiration when I needed it most.

“lass what do you see out yonder window pane?” Granda with the rolling brogue in his voice asked.

“trees granda, and the woods where we play”

“Yes lass but there’s a lesson in those trees, one I think you’re old enough to appreciate now”

He shifted and I smiled, we all loved Grandas stories. I settled in to listen as my Grandas eyes, always shifting in color between blue and green, looked off in the distance again. 

Granda pointed up “what tree is that little girl?”

I laughed, Granda and Grainia taught us all the trees and plants from very early “oak Granda, the protector of the woodland”

“good girl and that one?” he raised his cane to point to a much smaller tree growing near the base of the mighty oak at the edge of the tree line

“a willow o wisp house Granda” I smiled~ it was my Grainias name for the willow.

“That it is lass, now listen close. That little willow tree is actually the strong one girl.” 

At this he laughed I can only imagine the look on my face was one of disbelieve.

 “Its true, the willow is an amazing tree. Mother Nature whispered her secrets to the little willow on the edges of time. You see lass, in nature there are hundreds of types of willows, each a little different from the other, all beautiful, all seeming so frail as they dance and sway on the winds from day to day. They seek shelter from the harsh sun in the shade of the mighty oak, the protection from the elements in the oak rings of the forest. And they grow slowly and not very large in comparison to their woodland brothers and sisters. When we look at the willow we see only the beauty and outward appearance, but when we look at the oak, growing tall and straight and strong, towering over the rest of the green neighbors, we see only strength. 

Here is the truth though lass, Mother Nature she whispered to her little willow  to send her roots deep and wrap them in the arms of the soil and around the roots of the other willows and the mighty oak, entwine and build on the roots, not on the height and breadth like her other trees would do.  The willow followed her instructions and never grew very large, content to sink her roots deep and dance her thin arms on the wind and play in the shadows of the bigger trees. Then the storms came, Mother Natures fury rang through the woodlands and  the might oaks creaked and groaned, the little willow simply bent lower to the ground dancing in the angry winds and shivering at the sounds of breaking wood. The wind was so fierce and the stoic oaks in their stubborn pride as protectors of the forest refused to give way to the force, some broke in half, some pulled up by the roots.”

Granda relit the pipe and motioned out the window at the willow swaying in the late afternoon breeze.

“the little willow wiggled her roots so deep in the soil and danced. In the end, when the rains had ceased and the winds had calmed, the little willow slowly and gently stood back up, straightening herself amongst her sister willows in the first rays of bright sun and reaching her limbs toward the warmth.  The oaks around her stood, battered, some missing limbs, some bent or broken, but they stood; while the others, those without the willows at their base, lay toppled about the ground like sticks.”

I must have frowned up at him because he gave a big laugh, the kind I’ve not heard since he left this world and patted me on my shoulder with that giant paw.

“Its simple lass, the willow with her deep roots, combined with all the roots of her sisters growing in the circle of the oaks, anchored the larger oaks. Sometimes little girl it is better to bend than to break. Strength is not always large or imposing. Remember the willow tree lass, try to be like her and you will always see the sunlight after the storm. Bending is strength in itself.”

From that point on, my nickname in our family was willow.

I heard this story many times throughout my childhood and it never failed to make me smile. I hope you all enjoyed it and can see the lesson and how it might apply to our daily lives. 

Bending is not a weakness, it takes strength and wisdom to submit to another’s will.

ANTICIPATION By dude uɯɐp

the anticipation builds as the hours pass too slowly. the excitement inside knowing soon i will be in Her arms once more. the reality that all this distance will pass away and i will actually kneel before Her once more, collar proudly presented before Her awaiting the comfort and peace as She secures it around my neck. there are few places left in this world that bring me to this point. the point of giddy excitement and childlike exuberance. the joy so overflowing it almost hurts. my thoughts and memories of the times past fading and making way for the new ones that will take their place. am i ready? will it hurry already? what if i oversleep? oh shit, breathe! 

it's all good now. the days have passed slowly, the times together on pal and skype less and less satisfying as the reality of being together approaches. i am ready now and i know She is too.

I STAND AND I WATCH by shadowcat

I stand and I watch. 

My head held high, 

my back arrow straight. 

I walk tall and proud. 

I bow to NO one. 

As I sit and wait. 

You'll come to find me. 

The One That makes me wanna kneel. 

With that one look you can make me feel. 

You'll light the fires that burn oh so bright. 

Let me shine as bright as the sun after a dark night. 

I'll whisper the things you yearn to hear. 

Hold me tight and dear. 

We'll show the world how hot love can burn, without any fear. 

It won't be perfect, this I know. 

But you'll be worth every tiff and row. 

You look down at your collar held tight around my neck. 

Into my eyes you find my heart, straight and true. 

Then feel the power of my words to you 

On this day I am finally found. 

That it's to you, I'll always be bound.

CONSENT By squirrels

BDSM, S&M, M/s,D/s are nebulous things. The three tenents that most practitioners say they embrace is Safe, Sane and Consensual, but in reality? Is it safe to use a knife during play, to draw blood, to whip someone until they are bruised? Is it sane to enjoy the hiss of pain from your partner or the feel of his or her belt on your back? I don't know.

I've had people ask me in the past. How can you do that? How can you let someone hurt you and enjoy it? what's the difference between that and an abusive relationship?, and I never had an answer. I could never explain the power exchange, the joy of submission, the absolute trust involved, knowing that while a sadist may hurt you, they also love and cherish you. I could never explain that "forced sex" or "rough sex" between a Master and his slave wasn't rape. That either one or most likely both have fetishes that they express differently than so called "normal" people. That the consent had already been given, the trust established and to them it's a form of release.

A SNAKE by Jerzey Fresh

A snake is among us - I see you in your grassy home 

Know that I got my eye on you - wherever it is you roam 

Your pony trick is played out - as most of us can see 

But some still wear rose colored glasses - and follow you blindly 

Try as I might, I can't figure out why 

Every time you commit an indiscretion these people turn a blind eye 

Maybe they don't know what I know. 

But *I* know what I know 

If *you* know what I know 

Blood is thicker then water - but you haven't gotten the memo 

Because if you step out of line I'll show you how deep these veins go 

I'm waiting for you to mess up - so I can take you to task 

You've no idea the resources I have within my grasp 

It's not a matter of if - but when 

Your past only points to signs that this will happen again 

You'll look at this poem as a veiled threat - but it's not 

I'm prepared to come at you with both barrels - and show you what I've got 

You've never met a match before - till now - you've met me 

I dare you to make me show you what it means to be family.

A QUESTION, AN ANSWER by niamh(PP)

~THE QUESTION~

What would you do if she came to you

And knelt quietly by your side

Her heart in her hand

Would you understand?

What would you do if she came to you

With love in her eyes and trust in her soul

Would you take control?

What would you do, if she came to you

And faced her deepest fears

Would you calm her, could you dry her tears?

What would you do, 

IF SHE CAME TO YOU…..

HOW CAN YOU FORSAKE ME? by Jerzey Fresh

How can you forsake me? You'd lump me in with the rest? 

I've moved mountains for you in our hey day. How quickly you forget. 

Regardless of what you've warped your mind to believe 

It wasn't me who burnt this bridge, with the web you chose to weave 

After all we've been through together, that you'd begrudge me truth 

Speaks volumes over any words you could say, excuse after excuse 

So obvious to us real people that you've already come undone 

Be mindful of who you go to war with; there's not a battle I haven't won. 

You should be grateful you're getting off easy; I'll spare you this one time 

It's lonely on that self imposed pedestal; with no one to stand by your side 

As far as former friends go, you're my crowning achievement of mistakes 

Those before you have at least twisted the knife while looking me in my face 

Instead you go around crying wolf on the shoulder of thieves 

Don't worry about pulling yourself away from the dogs, you've already caught fleas.

DIVORCE by Emmerald *

Divorce, what an extremely dirty word. 

Who actually likes that word? There are many reasons why people divorce. It usually bottles down to lack of attention or some form of abuse or maybe he or she really did make a mistake. 

The day I decided to ask my husband for a divorce was one of the most difficult moments of my life. I just had enough. I opted to leave my cushy materialistically fancy life mainly to protect my children and for my happiness. 

AM I TRULY HERS? By dude uɯɐp

am i truly Hers? or just one of many in and around Her life? what makes me special? what makes me think i deserve to be called Hers? so many times i think questions are as big a part of this dynamic as everything else. if i have questions, which undoubtedly i will, do they get answered to my satisfaction and understanding? if She has questions, which She undoubtedly will, do they get answered to Her satisfaction and understanding? so many times the connection and the bond come in the questions. the freedom to ask, the willingness to answer, the exploration of the discussion therein. so i guess what i am saying is - i know i am Hers because i asked. i know what makes me special to Her because i asked. i know i deserve to be called Hers because i asked. 

and ... She answered.

MATCHING ACCESORIES: HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF A 3+ BDSM FAMILY by Wølfy! *

Humans are a species that are motivated by upgrades. Replacing a regular cone with a waffle cone, washing bathrooms to managing the team members, moving from an apartment to your first home, they all motivate us to continue progressing into the future. Upgrades are usually always good, so there is no reason not to implement them in everything; Even in BDSM.

I like to think of BDSM families as a person with accesories, the person or people being Dom(s)/Domme(s), and sub(s) as accesories. The sub is used and gets satisfaction and the Dom uses and gets satisfaction.

So when a relationship starts, all is well. Everyone is happy, sub is being used, Dom is using. Once that "newly wed" period is over, the couple really start to love one another, and all is well with the world...
Then our natural instinct to upgrade comes into play. "Well if 1 sub gave me so much happiness, then 2 should give me double the happiness!".

THE SHINY FACTOR By PhoenixRed *

When you get into BDSM and D/s relationships, especially if you are new to this, everything seems cool and exciting and pushes boundaries and limits; it's all so overwhelming and wonderful and beautiful!   It’s SHINY!!!

You find someone, you start getting experience and you think:  "I've found my nirvana, this is how I want it to be for the rest of my life!"

And all is good with the universe :)

THE FIRST TIME By Myotis

Bound and gagged open mouthed for the first time

Wanting to please him but fighting a building panic inside me

Struggling for my breath as he presses himself into me

My body can’t resist but my mind is close to panic

I struggle through to please him, wrists staining against the ropes

My head is reeling then suddenly…

He stops and caresses my face smiling down at me

The moment is burned into my mind

My mind hadn’t understood till that moment

The intimacy so intense as I am overwhelmed with trust, love, lust, and adoration

I am completely in his hands and I let go body and soul

Ready to follow wherever he may lead

For the first time I feel the ecstasy of true submission

I'M JUST ME by shawdowcat

I'm just me.

I stand and I watch. 

I'll walk with my head held high.

I don't bow to anyone. 

I'll sit and wait. 

Till he comes to find me. 

The one I'll want to kneel to. 

I'll sit and wait. 

The one that makes me feel again. 

He'll light the fires that burn bright, and let me shine. 

So I'll sit and wait.

I'll walk with my head held high till the day I'm found.

A CAUTIONARY TALE by squirrels *

Once upon a time there was a man, named Will. Now his peers nicknamed him Captian Will.. Because he liked to jump from ship to ship.

And I'm not talking about the sailing ships either my friends!

First..he dated..my sister...we will call her Missed Opportunity. And while he was dating Missed, he started dating another friend..in secret.

So once Missed and Will broke things off..he had another girl right there.

Sadly but not surprisingly...that too didnt last.and his secong "undying love" was cast away for a third. Now the third, we'll call her Betty, fell hard for good ol Captain Will.

She unknowingly stood proudly by him until he announced in public that he had again moved on and neglected to tell her.

This time to someone I care very much for. :'(

So...Good Ol' Will has struck and I am in a quandry. What wins out? Love that is false and fleeting? Or a heart that cares but cannot protect? Tune in..I'll keep you posted.

MY RANT by babsy face*

i would llike to preface my... rant? by saying these are the jumbled thoughts of a semi switchy subbie with waaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on my hands and thoroughly enjoying being back in school *giggles* i over think and constantly contradict myself  adds to my charm... but these thoughts are just that, MY thoughts, not personally related to anything.. just want us A/all to take time and think about things and question, grow and learn, and hopefully these thoughts of mine help provoke discussion

MY SIS by bunny

My Sis

Today you said good bye but me I just cry, today you said it was done but tomorrow might never come. I know it's for the best but my mind can never rest, you came in to my life and brought a ray of sun you made me laugh made me smile and made me cry I hope you know you will always be in my heart till the day I die. 

UNSPOKEN by Clon

My day’s efforts are done, you’re with me at last

You kneel before me, eyes downcast

Copious soft curls cascading down across your chest

I stare at your beauty, my cares find their rest

Calm and peaceful before me, with nary a stir

A vision of tranquility, I hear your wordless whisper, ‘My Sir!"

I place my hand tenderly under your chin

Feeling the warmth of your supple skin

A gentle lift of your head to gaze upon your face

Your adoring expression makes my heart race

And then our eyes meet, that connection so rare

And, as always happens, I lose myself in your stare

Your soft brown eyes open to me, showing all that your are

Your heart and soul pouring out to me from afar

Volumes of meaning expressed in a moment in time

Locked in that gaze, you convey that you’re mine

I reach out me hand

And help you to stand

Our eyes still locked, the silent words still flowing

With each passing moment, our bond it is growing

Hearts bound with a chord of silver and blue

My unspoken words cry out, ‘I love you!’

This bond that we share, so strong from afar

Heals my heart every day, and leaves one less scar 

Our lips softly touch, our hands they entwine

I say without speaking, ‘My dearest, you’re mine.’

Author's note:  Here is my reply to my dear lady (speaking of Amaranth's poem 'The Kneel')

TO KNEEL by Amaranth

I can't stop looking at you

Admiring your form

Seeing the lights shimmering around you

See your soft, tender demeanor

Your command and presence

My heart swells with pride of knowing you and that you have chosen me

My heart bursts every time you gaze upon me with your piercing blue eyes

I tingle at your touch, the feel of your eyes upon my skin

Your command of presence draws me

The love you emit caresses me

The tenderness you hold shines from you

I feel safe and protected

Loved and treasured

To kneel before you is not a choice

I do not kneel because it is expected

I kneel because I am compelled to do so

My whole being has to show my deference to you

My whole being needs to show my respect for you

I give myself to you

I love you