ABANDONED FORSAKEN by niamh {PP}

Abandoned Forsaken, deserted.,left desolate or empty,
:no longer inhabited;

Day 1~ disbelieve, heartache, pain, lack of understanding

How could you do this to me, after all I’ve given, after all I tried to do, after all I believed in you..how could you simply let me fall to the darkness inside myself..how could you, when you are the one I love so much

Day 2~denial, exscuses, tears

Surely you’re ill, somethings wrong you would have contacted me, you would have called~ an email, I’ll check again, an offline..is it working ..hello??

Echoing emptiness

Day 3 fear, insecurity, isolation

What did I do, how did I anger you, I’m sorry ..still no email, where are you, I need you ..i hurt, forgive me..how can I fix it, I’ll do anything ..please, just a word

~Why!~

What did I do

Day 4 Terror, wild imaginings, pleading to the silence,

The car crashed, youre in the hospital sick, the phone is down, the internet isn’t working its all their fault, if you had a choice you’d contact me, you always contact me, you promised you’d not leave me. I believe you

I believe IN YOU

Please, answer this time, please be there with an explanation even your anger, I’ll take the punishment, just please, be there…

Day 5 denial, tears, blank space, silence

Day 6 pain, tears, justification, guilt

I wasn’t enough, I could have done more, I’ll try harder, come back, I’ll fix it, I’ll change, please, don’t go

Day 7 heartache, silence, reality, shattered illusions

I was a fool

I believed in your lies, your dreams, the words you spoke to my heart, my soul, the one voice I heard above the others, the one hand I trusted with my heart. I was a fool, you abandoned me. you hurt me. you never cared.

Truth, acceptance, strength,

An ebbing of who I was, staring at the empty space that was my anchor, the space that encompassed the bond I thought we had, cold, lifeless, drowning silence, ashamed of what I’ve become

Day 8 Resolution, ANGER

Dried tears, a closed door, a name missing where you used to be. Standing alone, breathing deeply,

A light extinguished

REALIZATION

You no longer NEEDED me, you weren’t the strong one. I STAND. I STAY

I DO not need you, I’m not sure I even WANT you now, you are not the man I loved, he was a lie, he would never abandon his friend, he would not hurt he would not abuse. HE NEVER EXISTED

You lied

You needed me

You used me, and you enjoyed it.



abandoned
free from constraint, restrictions or conformities

YES Sir you ABANDONED ME, but now I am abandoned…heaven help you when the heartache you’ve sown is reaped. I pity you in your ignorance and lonliness.