Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I HATE BEING HERE by LadyRemington


I hate being here 
I hate it so much 
You always yell 
Throw and things and scream 
Yell and fuss 
You're no father to me 
And you 
What's your deal 
Your so apathetic and oblivious 
You don't even know your kids 
You make fun of me 
Yeah so what I cut 
Guess who drove me to that insanity 
You and my freaking father 
Y'all don't love me like a parent should 
Yeah I put up walls 
But what kid don't 
Parents are supposed to be kind 
Always there for there kids 
But growing up 
You were never there 
My dad was never there 
When y'all are home 
You yell and scream 
Fuss and fight 
Call me names and freak out 
I refuse to call this home 
Cause home ain't what this is 
This is the hell in which 
I have been forced to exist 
This house ain't a home 
Home what does that even mean 
I envy the girls I see 
Who's mother's apparently love them 
They have a home but not me 
Cause no love is here 
No one cares or shows they do 
So go on make some more fun 
As I slit my wrists deeper each time 
Listening to someone sing 
A song about how I feel 
Only difference is they get stoned 
I wonder what drugs would feel like 
Could they put out the flames of this hell I live in 
Would they make it better 
Or only make it worse 
Why couldn't you just have loved me as a kid 
Hugged me every now and then 
Why do I have to seek love from other mother's 
Why couldn't you be more like them 
You could have loved me 
Could have cared 
But instead you grew apathetic and cold 
Distant and frightening 
Full of animosity and resentment
Why couldn't you just have loved me 
Like I always wanted you too 
But it's too late to save me 
Too much pain has been caused by you 
Its too late for you to be the mom you should be 
So I'll stay alone, unloved, and spiteful 
Bitter, cold, lugubrious, lonely and hurting 
And no one will see 
Only my razor blade, God, and me

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