I SIT ON THE EDGE OF MY BED by kitkat

I sit on the edge of my bed

I glance around the four walls

I pick up my now cold phone

I have a hundred missed calls

I glance inside the box

Surely maybe just about enough

I just need some fucking sleep

I’m thinking being awake is too tough

I pick up the bottle

Take a swig for some good luck

If I got caught by anyone right now

Would anyone actually give a fuck

I take my daily dose of it all

With a stutter I contemplate

Is it strange the Dr gave me a two months supply?

Or is this the screaming of fate?

I’m sat thinking of the reasons

Of why I bother at all

I keep trying to fight all this

I keep fucking trying to stand tall

Yet every time I get back up

Something new pushes me deep down

I cannot take this feeling of pain anymore

It hurts my head this fucking frown

I smile to those who know me

Pretending that all is ok

When really I am already dead inside

It’s far too late to kneel and pray

I give up on this meagre life

And pop all the pills in my hand

There is no note to apologise

None of this shit was ever planned

In a deep breath I greedily take

Not caring of any what will now happen

I am simply doing what I did years ago

Following the same fucked up pattern

Its up then down and I am sick and tired

My only escape is to escape all or without

I am scared of all I have become

I am scared of what life is truly about

I swallow hard trying not to think

I take the bottle of whiskey

It’s now such a bitter sweet drink

Consequences are finalised

I bid you all goodnight

Just remember that no one did this

I’m the one to give up this fight