I'M WEAKENING by kitkat

I’m weakening

Every ounce of me is screaming

Every single fibre of me is calling

I wanna punch myself

I did as you asked

I did as you desired

The screaming in my mind deafens

It screams endlessly never getting tired

I forced myself 

I try and try to correct how I feel

Change how I think and re learn

Make myself normal and real

Make the hands of time continue to turn

I’m sorry

I apologise for all that I am

Reflecting on who I am and what I was

I’m tired now,

Weakening in my stomach

I hold myself from lying

I lie myself to sleep on my back

Must get my mind off this

Must stop thinking this right

I must resist all the urges

I must have the strength to fight